View Full Version : Official Joke Thread!
1ViciousGSX
01-22-2004, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by JDM@Jan 22 2004, 02:13 PM
>2 Drunk Buddies
>
>
>
>
>
>Two buddies, Bob and John, are getting very drunk at a bar when
>suddenly John throws up all over himself.
>
>"Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me!"
>
>Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast
>pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you
>twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
>
>So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
>Eventually John stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad
>time.
>
>"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God,
>you're disgusting!"
>
>Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, John says,
>"Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin!* Itsh snot wha jew think.
>I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got
>ssick on me...hehad one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz
>liquor. He said* he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for
>the cleaning bill!"
>
>His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty
>bucks.."
>
>"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."
:banana:* :banana:* :banana:
Moved to the "Joke Thread"
A//// Guy
01-23-2004, 12:24 PM
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4
parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player;
the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left
the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S.
President, a NY State Senator and a potential future president. And I am the
smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to
die", and she took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the president of the United
States of America. I have great responsibility being the leader of a
superpower nation." So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.
The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old school
girl, "I am old and frail and don't have many years left, and as a Catholic,
I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America's
smartest woman took my schoolbag."
1ViciousGSX
02-06-2004, 06:16 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol:
What do you call a blonde that dues her hair black?
:bounce: Artificial Intelligence :bounce:
Jacek
02-06-2004, 06:25 PM
how did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
she fell out of the tree.
1ViciousGSX
02-06-2004, 06:29 PM
How a blonde prints a document from her computer
Jacek
02-06-2004, 06:36 PM
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.
"Yes, It's because your blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See?
A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, It's because your blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm Blonde, Mommy?"
"No Honey, Its because you're 24."
1ViciousGSX
02-06-2004, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by Jacek@Feb 6 2004, 06:36 PM
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.
"Yes, It's because your blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See?
A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, It's because your blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm Blonde, Mommy?"
"No Honey, Its because you're 24."
HAHAHAHA :lol:
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