Official Joke Thread!

[Emcee gsxtc]

Originally posted by FORSFED@Nov 4 2003, 05:05 PM
How can you tell the difference between a blonde male and a blonde female?

The female has a higher sperm count.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Halon]

There was a married couple at home and the husband was calling it a night and climbing into bed. His wife had a better idea so she runs outta the bathroom buck naked and jumps onto the bed and shouts "SUPER PUSSY". Her husband looks up at her and replies "ehh... i'll take the soup"

[Iceman]

I don't get it... Its funny that she said SUPER PUSSY but other than that i don't get it.. :stick:

[Jana]

Soup OR Pussy.....super pussy.....get it?

[AJ]

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building. He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"


The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."


-----

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back.

"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said: "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah... My wife!"
--------

Steve loved his wife Wendy so much he had her name tatooed onto his penis. When he was soft all you could see was the WY, but when he had a hard on you could read her full name Wendy. One day while Steve and Wendy were in Jamaica on vacation steve had to visit the bathroom. While standing at the urinal he looks at the man next to him and notices that this man has a tatto on his dick as well. Amazingly he sees WY on this guys dick as well. Steve says, " Hey buddy I'm sorry but I couldn't help but notice that you've got WY tattooed on your Dick as well. When I'm hard my tattoo shows my wife's name Wendy. What does yours say?" The local replied, "Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day"!!!

[AJ]

Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
A: "See you next month"


-----


What did they call lesbians in mid-evil times?
Fur traders.


-----


Jane was a first time contestant on a $65,000 quiz show. Lady Luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.

Jane agreed to return the following day. She was nervous as her husband drove them home.


"I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers were. You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow."


'Relax honey,' her husband, Roger, reassured her. 'It will all be OK.'


Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door.


'Where are you going?' Jane asked.


'I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon.'


After an agonizing three hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin.


'Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer.'


'What is it?' she cried excitedly.


'OK, the question is, "What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?"

And the answer is, "The head, the heart and the penis."'


The couple went to sleep with Jane now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber. At 3.30 am, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question.


'The head, the heart, the penis,' Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep.


Roger asked her again in the morning as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again she replied correctly.


So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies.


The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous day's events, faced Jane and asked the big question.


'Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds.'


'Hmmm, uhm, the head? She said nervously.

'Very good. Six seconds.'


'Eh, uh, the heart?

'Very good. Four seconds.'


'I, uhh, ooooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning... '


'That's close enough,' said the game show host, 'Congratulations!'

[1ViciousGSX]

Originally posted by DSMStyle@Nov 6 2003, 10:52 PM
Steve loved his wife Wendy so much he had her name tatooed onto his penis. When he was soft all you could see was the WY, but when he had a hard on you could read her full name Wendy. One day while Steve and Wendy were in Jamaica on vacation steve had to visit the bathroom. While standing at the urinal he looks at the man next to him and notices that this man has a tatto on his dick as well. Amazingly he sees WY on this guys dick as well. Steve says, " Hey buddy I'm sorry but I couldn't help but notice that you've got WY tattooed on your Dick as well. When I'm hard my tattoo shows my wife's name Wendy. What does yours say?" The local replied, "Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day"!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
hahahahahahaha

[Iceman]

Originally posted by DSMChick@Nov 6 2003, 08:42 PM
Soup OR Pussy.....super pussy.....get it?
PUSSY soup? yeah so i don't know...

[Jana]

No, the husband heard her say Soup OR Pussy.... so he said he'd take the soup. He didn't hear her say SUPER PUSSY. Get it? Geesh, am I the only one who can understand a pussy joke? :razz2:

[b.a.]

Originally posted by Iceman@Nov 6 2003, 08:31 PM
I don't get it... Its funny that she said SUPER PUSSY but other than that i don't get it.. :stick:
:stupid: :slap: