View Full Version : Official Joke Thread!
MATCHBX
11-26-2003, 05:46 PM
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
4x4
The doctor told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men
last
longer during the act.
The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't
do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too
open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally,
he realized his solution. On the way home from work, he pulled his 4X4
over on the side of the highway.
He got out and crawled underneath as if examining the vehicle.
Satisfied
with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at his pants leg. Not
wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut
and replied "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What in the hell are you doing?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your 4x4
rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
Iceman
11-28-2003, 02:34 PM
LOL i liked the 4x4 one. Thats true though you do last longer.
MATCHBX
12-03-2003, 05:49 PM
The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse
vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was
rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude
by consistently saying only polite words, playing
soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the
parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the
parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation threw up his hands, grabbed the
bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes
the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that
he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door
to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto
John's outstretched arms and said:
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude
language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for
my inappropriate transgressions and verbal tirades.
Forgive me. I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and abhorrent behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's
attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such
a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
BuildADSM
12-07-2003, 11:57 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: roflmfao!!!!!!!!
Goat Blower
12-09-2003, 11:55 PM
What do K-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys underwear half off. :censored:
FORSFED
12-10-2003, 05:05 PM
When is it bed-time at Micheal Jackson's house???
When the big hand touches the little hand!
BuildADSM
12-10-2003, 05:53 PM
What is the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerious for children to play with and the other carrys grocerys.
:lol:
BTW, moved to joke area :D
Goat Blower
12-10-2003, 11:08 PM
Ahh, I was wondering what "humar" was. It's actually humor. :stick: :beer:
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