More help desk conversations

[Goat Blower]

I actually got this from my wife, it's pretty good. All true supposedly, and I wouldn't be surprised. Looks like AOL users.

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* Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?
*Female customer:* A white one...
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*Customer:* Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
*Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?
*Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
*Tech support: * That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
*Customer:* No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still on my desk... sorry....

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*Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
the screen.
*Customer:* Your left or my left?

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*Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?
*Male customer: * Hello... I can't print.
*Tech support:* Would you click on "start" for me and.
*Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
not Bill Gates.

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*Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted
the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the
computer still says he can't find it...

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*Customer:* I have problems printing in red...
*Tech support:* Do you have a color printer?
*Customer:* Aaaah...................thank you.

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*Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
*Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

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*Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.
*Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
*Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.
*Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
*Customer:*! OK
*Tech support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
*Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not
plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
*Customer:* Yes, there's another one here.
Ah...that one does work...

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*Tech support:* Your password is the small letter "a" as in
apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
*Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters ?

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*Customer:** * can't get on the Internet.
*Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?
*Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
*Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?
*Customer: * Five stars.

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*Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?
*Customer: * Netscape.
*Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.
*Customer:* Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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*Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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*Tech support: * How may I help you?
*Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.
*Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?
*Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk
with a problem with her printer.
*Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?
*Customer:* "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is
a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me
is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least...

*Tech support: *"Okay Colin, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list
in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter
"P" to bring up the Program Manager."
*Customer:* I don't have a P.
*Tech support:* On your keyboard, Colin.
*Customer: * What do you mean?
*Tech support:* "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
*Customer:* I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!