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Old 04-13-2006   #1
AJ
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Raising Boys

Thought this was too good not to post.

RAISING BOYS
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.! ) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
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Old 04-13-2006   #2
tim
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Re: Raising Boys

That is pretty good. I would quote the more funny ones but they are all pretty funny.

Has anyone tried mixing clorox and brake fluid?
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Old 04-13-2006   #3
JET
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Re: Raising Boys

I was going to try it tonight! Then I got to the end and had to laugh
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Old 04-13-2006   #4
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Re: Raising Boys

Quote:
Originally Posted by JET
I was going to try it tonight! Then I got to the end and had to laugh
Same here, and then it said it at the end...

-Stephan
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Old 04-13-2006   #5
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Re: Raising Boys

LMFAO i was gonna try that too, because i have some old brake fluid in the garage and some bleach as well.. he h eh e.
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Old 04-13-2006   #6
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Re: Raising Boys

lol. Funny how the 2nd to last one is true. I thought about doing it, just to see how much smoke it will actually make . Not anymore.
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