*RANT* A bad couple of weeks!

[dumb_ricer]

First, if you don't want to read it, DONT, I am not forcing you to, so I don't want to hear what a waste of time or any of that shit. You make a choice to read what you read, and you do not have to. I already sound pissed, don't I?

Okay, first off, I don't know what to do with my girlfriend. I am almost 19 years old and I have been dating her for a cunt hair under 2yrs. I can honestly say that I love her to death and would do anything/everything for her. But that is exactly the problem, I *DO* have to do anything and everything for her, which I am fine with, as long as she appreciates it. The problem comes in when she does not appreciate what I am doing and how nice of a person I am really being to her. Yes, a lot of guys say they are nice as fuck to girls and that they can put up with a lot of shit, but I can honestly say I can put up with more shit then I have ever seen in my entire life, and this is not a good thing. Maybe I am just pulling a curtian over reality and I am really an asshole, but I highly doubt it. She will get mad at me for really stupid reasons, and part of it is probably because we are currently in a long distance relationship. I don't mind being in a long distance relationship, but she hates, doesn't want to do it, yet every time I ask if she would be better off staying single its a firm NO. And when I say stupid reasons, I truely and honestly mean stupid as hell reasons. She got mad at me not too long ago for finishing a movie that had 20mins left over talking to her right when she wanted to. The list of dumb things just goes on and on and on. And then I drive 6 hours home every weekend (Chicago to East Twin Cities) to see her, and every time, the first word's out of her mouth are bitching at me for something or another. And the problem is I give in too easily, and yes I can say that, I give in way too damn easily, I give up/quit, and just build up stress. I will say that I am usually not a stressed out person at all, but usually (90%) of the time, I am stressed and just throw on my happy face that I am oh so good at. It's not that I get overly stressed, just to the point that I just kind of want to chill out, not talk to people in person, and just think. Thinking is my way out. But whatever, nothing you guys say about my girlfriend situation will change what I do, I will keep being a pussy and will not doing anything about it, like I have been for 2 years. It's fine though, because when I am actually with her in person, we are awesome together, but any other time, I cant stand being on the phone with her for very long, because I make her mad. Oh well.



OKAY, LETS GO TO TUESDAY

Well, I wasn't told most of this shit until yesterday (saturday) about how my mom has been feeling for the past week. She started getting pretty bad back pain on Monday I guess, and decided to go in and see the doctor on Tuesday. Well, Tuesday morning well she was taking a shower, something in her back cracked, she fell to the ground, and passed out in pain. Thank god my dad was home and went in to the bathroom. They went in to the doctor, my mom BARELY being able to walk, like she needed help to walk, and couldnt stand up for more then 15 secounds, and the doctor gave her pills and told her to come back Monday if it was still happening. She asked him to look at her and see if it was something, and he said its probably nothing, just a spazm or something like that. She could'nt fucking walk, somethings not right, hello. So she left the doctor in Awe that he did not do anything, and went home to lay on the living room floor for almost 2 days in pain. My dad didn't know what to do, the doctor seemed pretty confident that it was a common thing for people to come in almost in tears from pain not being able to walk, and all you needed was a pain killer. Well, she layed there most of the 2 days, and it progressively got worse, and it got to the point that she could hardly move her lower body, so she called my aunt, and she got a hold of my dad and they took her in to the ER. Well, within an hour they had her in either the MRI or CTscan machine, and saw that one of the disc's in her back had cracked and was crushing her spinal cord, and pinching/cutting the nerves. At this point on thursday I was called and informed, but shit, I'm in Chicago, worthless, and I still have to wait until friday before I can go home. So I keep in touch with my older sister, and she called when the results came in saying that my mom was pretty much paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of her life, she will never walk again, and we have to get used to it. I am pretty much in tears hearing this, so I tell to call back when they find out more. Well I decide to call the girlfriend to get some support, and she pretty much bitches at me because she was planning on coming to visit me and now I have to come home. I can understand her disappointment, but when she bitched, I flipped. So around 1 I get another call saying that she was done with surgery and the damage wasn't as bad as it looked at first. Well this is good news, and she can partially move her toes and knees, so she is not fully paralyzed. Well, went in yesterday and saw her for a while, and she can walk with a walker and some help now, but she has a long road of re learning how to walk/climb stairs/do everything over again. We wont know for up to a year and a half how much feeling and ability will come back. As of right now, her bladder does not work, so that could be a pretty big change for her. In general it sucks, but it could be MUCH worse.

I think its more of the fact that I just keep letting shit build up over time when I should get it out of my system in the first place.

Whatever, I'm tired, going to bed.


PS: If anyone actually read that, you definitely don't have ADD

[Shotgun!]

I do have ADD, and I did read it. I'll I can say is wow! Here's to the week being over! Let's hope it's only gonna get better from here.

[JET]

I feel your pain on the girlfriend situation. I have been in a nearly identical one. She was a bitch and it was a long distance one. I can also put up with a ton of shit. I put up with it for a long distance thing, and we ended up moving in together. That proved to be too much. You just have to ask yourself, do you want to put up with that everyday for the rest of your life? I don't think you do. There is someone else out there who will treat you nice.

Mine was not quite as bitchy as yours sounds, but when mine was the worst is when she was fooling around with other guys, which I found out later. She would feel guilty and bitch at me about it. It is hard to break up with someone you have grown that attached to, but you will be wondering why you didn't do it sooner a month down there road. I mean she wouldn't offer support when you found out your mom may be paralyzed for the rest of her life? Screw her. She doesn't really care about you, she is just using you.

Sorry for being so blunt, I just don't want you to waste 3 1/2 years like I did before I finally saw the big picture.

That sucks about your mom. Luckily she has some feeling, so she will probably recover, but it will be a long road.

[Matt D.]

To HELL with your girlfriend. If she can't so much as see through her bitchiness to give you sympathy to her mom then you're too good for her. You need to move on, my friend.

[Outlaw1]

Originally Posted by JET

She doesn't really care about you, she is just using you.

Affirmative, JET.

When you're young it's HARD to let go of someone. Your mind gets all muddy with "love" pretty easy. In the end, you'll find the love you felt was more of a wanting to be needed by someone on your own part and the good feeling you get when you do something for her. Kinda makes you feel like you have a purpose. When everything is over, you'll find yourself asking, "What was it that I loved about her so much?". She probably isn't interested in any of the same things you are. When you start out in a relationship the things that you like are interesting to her. Later down the road, things that you like become "stupid" to her because you actually enjoy them. A relationship shouldn't be so hard. Either things work smoothly, or they don't. There should be an obvious common goal in a relationship. Happiness for BOTH.

But on the other hand...Speaking from personal experience, I think all women are sluts. So what do I know?

Seriously though, sorry to hear about your mom. Talking about traumatic experiences, last March I had several family members that were involved in a large refinary explosion in Texas City. My brother's father-in-law was killed, my sister-in-law has 3rd degree burns on 60% of her body. My brother was in the middle of all the smoke and fire trying to dig them all out of the rubble. A couple weeks before this, my girlfriend's grandma died. The week after the explosion my girlfriend decided to leave me and take our children (two girls and a six month old boy) with her, and somehow blamed everything on me. Talk about bummed.

[rk4g63]

I'll tell you one thing dude - NOBODY comes before family, until they become family. If she bitches at you for last week with your mom in bad shape - these other guys who already commented, are right. It's hard to let go after such a long time but you need to take your own decision dude. My own two cents worth is - let go of her. Itll be hard, but in the long run......
This is just my own opinion dude so don't beat me up on it. I've been in the same boat so I'm talking from experience.
Sorry to hear about your mom. There's not really much that I can say - I just hope things get better for your family - particularly for you.
My wife just went through surgery for an elbow broken in 3 places and I'm taking care of her right now and I thought that was hard! I can't cook worth shit.
If you need any kinda help and its possible for me to help, let me know.
RK.

[ther1pper]

hey man i read it all... i feel ur pain with ur mom and stuff tho, cupple days ago thursday one of my best friends died in his sleep at age 19 due to a blood clot in his knee that worked his way up to his heart and cause a heart attack... i know its hard when shit like this happens, but gl with everything... i know ur gf will be there for u when u need it.. try and stick it out,, u never know if u will find someone like her again.. idk thats my 2 cents. GL with everything tho.

-Joe

[IndiEP]

That chick is wack. I personally wouldn't waste any more time on her. Why are you always the one who has to drive? has she ever offered to visit you?

Sorry to hear about your mother, my mom was dealing w/a blood clot a couple years ago and thats the type of thing that brings the world to a hault.

[dumb_ricer]

Thanks for all of your wisdom and all, but you all know that I am going to go and stay with her for a few more years. I am well aware I should just get rid of her and find someone else, but I love too much and am too afraid of hurting her to just let her go just like that. Thats why I say I am too nice, because even if it hurts me, I don't want to hurt anyone else. Somewhere deep down inside, I hope that she changes, but we all know the odd's of that are slim. Its just how I am.

There other shit that is bothering me lately too.

I am at UTI for to become a "Technician"..............Fuck that, I don't want to be a Technician. For like 3 years, I swore up and down that it was what I wanted to do, but shit, it sure as hell isn't. Today I plan on going in and dropping the Diesel portion of it, and signing out to test out of most of what I know. Actually, if I wasn't stuck on a year lease with 2 roommate's that I would never fuck over, then I would be up and quitting school right now, and going back for mechanical or electrical engineering. That is what I really want to be I think, an engineer. So here I am, thinking "Damn, what am I doing here, I don't want to go here, I'm not learning shit, and it's not even what I want to do". Ugh, just pisses me off that I am going to end up wasting money on this shit when it's not what I want to do. I suppose that I will be able to have a decent job through college though, which will be nice. I mainly just want to get back to MN, stay there, get a job, go to school, and be there for everyone else.

There are some people on here I should probably thank for some random things.

Kevin (Santa) - Thanks for being a best friend for the past 18 years, helping me out with shit, and just in general, being an awesome friend.

Cher (Atleastitswhite?) - 1. For getting me in to Mraz, you fucking asshole:-p and 2. For chatting with me, trying to help out, and being the person I talk to every night from 2am to 4am. Oh, and thank's again for letting me have your baby (SC300) for prom, it was the coolest car there)

Tauni (Glorifiedneongrl?) - For helping me through some shit I have been dealing with as far as my girlfriend and other things go, and just in general being a really nice and cool person to talk to.

The Hung Tau Crew (Kyle, Dave, Amanda, ect... you know who you are) For staying awake long enough for me to be able to hang out with you guys after I get done hanging out with Miss Controlling. I should really spend more time with you fuckers, as I always enjoy myself when I do.

Shit, I'm sure there is more, but Im tired as fuck, just drove 6 hours from 10-4am, and slept 4hr's the night before.

Okay, Rant off

[dumb_ricer]

Woohoo, I just dropped Diesel, bringing my time left her to just under 10 months

I feel slightly better now. Now I just need to Test out of more stuff, to get out of here even sooner, and then just pay rent and not live there

On a sadder note, my mom still hasn't gotten much back, and she is still waiting to get approved for physical therapy.

[santa]

Your welcome for the friendship bud, You also have always been there for me when My Mom was sick with Cancer man! I'll always be around! Now get your ass back here and build something.

Kevin

[Steeltwo]

i've got the same thing going right now.
we're different types of people, but with a similar mindset.

i'll do anything for my g/f, but she doesn't appreciate it very much. Sure she says thank you, but does not truely understand things.

however, if anyone disrespects my parents like your girlfriend did,they'd get dumped(g/f) or get ippon'd face first into the pavement(anyone else).
that lack of respect is HORRIBLE.

you should ask your g/f if she'd like to help your mom get a can of pop or bag of popcorn, or to help her too the bathroom so she can do her business. Maybe then your g/f will see the light and change for the better.


as for the UTI stuff, keep at it and get some level of a degree, then as you said
you'll have a decent job while in college.

[Steeltwo]

Originally Posted by dumb_ricer

On a sadder note, my mom still hasn't gotten much back, and she is still waiting to get approved for physical therapy.

I remember reading that alot of spine damage will take a LONG time to recover from. The article I read from had a person who got hurt in a car accident. Something like C8 was crushed??

took 18 months before the person took their first assisted step. Another 2 years before they could walk on their own. And another x amount of years before they could walk without problems.

be strong my good man
you already have shown the mental toughness you'll be needing to help your mom.

[niterydr]

Words of advise, get rid of her.
People that know me well know my previous gf of a long time, Nissa. Well after 4 years of me dealing with her controlling, bitching, general nasty attitude, I find out she had been cheating on me for 6 months. That relationship was officially over in Marchish of this year, but she started dating others, I found out around september of 2004 (probably on my b-day). Also that last year, I lost my mother to cancer (april 26, 2004) and Nissa wasn't really wasn't around to help me out through that.
Thats a little bit on my background...here is the advice.
It is really tough to let someone go, especially when it is your first "serious" relationship. This goes for men and women. You can bend over backwards for someone, but relationships are a 2 person involvement. If BOTH of you aren't happy, then someone is getting screwed over, thats that. You will be better off if you move on. Relatonships are not a one sided affair, if there isn't GIVE and TAKE then it is more of a obligation versus a relationship.
It seems at this point in your life you are dealing with many issues, you need someone there to help you sort them out, not add to them.
Life is to short to be miserable. If you don't like what you are doing, who you are with, or how life is going, change it.
You are the only person responsible for your actions. Your friends can help, your parents can help, and your significant other can help, but when the dust settles, YOU are ultimately responsible for your own happiness.
On a side note:
Its good to get stuff out of your system, I use to 'pent' now I just tell someone to STFU instead of bottling my anger. Emotions are a powerful source of energy. You can use them to your advantage to express yourself, or you can bottle them up and have them destroy you.
Best of luck in your future endevors.
Just remember to keep your head up, tommorrow is always another day.
Live for tommorrow, have fun today, and forget about yesterday, its already gone.
-josh

[Kracka]

Get rid of her, I went through 5 years of hell and couldn't be happier now! Best wishes for your mom too, that must have been awful finding out about, but at least there is a chance she will be able to function again (even if only partially).

[untouchable]

hey i know exactly how u feel because im going threw it right now, but the only advise i can give u is what im doing, she is moving out on friday with no choice... if u break up with her you could turn around and stands the person who is looking for u! not the one ud expect.....good luck with the situation

[Pimpin Dsmstyle]

Damn Nate. You are a crazy fucker. Anyhow, do what YOU feel is right about the woman. Everyone on here just knows what you said, and like every story, there is a lot more to it. Sorry to hear about your mom. If you need to vent at all, hit me up on aim Good luck feeling better dude.

[IndiEP]

Honestly, don't worry about the $$ and time you've "wasted" even if you change your major. I've done the same thing and it does suck to have debt but I don't regret anything because it was those experiences that have made me who I am today. I'm not worried about my future at all, a little inpatient but not worried.

Its just unrealistic for people to go from k-12 to college, know their major and graduate in 4 years.

[formula350]

Since Im your roomate I say you should ditch her now!! Not only for the sake of yourself but for the sake of your friends. I remember this summer but the funny part is I dont remember seeing you very much unless you came into my work. She kept you from doing anything and everything. I remember the one time you were talking cars with a kid and she was there and she steped in between you too and said "SHUT UP ABOUT STUPID ASS CARS I WANT TO GO". She needs to go man she is messing your life up and now with what she sayed when you came home because your mom was in the hosipital. WTF who says you ruiend my weekend because of your mom. Should have been like "Sorry B!^(# but Im not god, maybe I should have prayed to him to see if he would put her injury on hold for you" then I would have said "Were done" click.

[AJ]

Bring her to a meet, let the soft spoken DSM guys get the point accross to her.