01-02-2011
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#1
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Admin
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sportsman's Paradise, LA.
Posts: 5,382
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Time for a Divorce?
Got this in an email, thought I would share it. Don't know if it's real or not, but it's definitely a fun read.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but
the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a
similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to
the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our
firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly
oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll
help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can
also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take
every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle
up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.
__________________
"You don't have a clue. You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
When she get's bitchy, SPANK THAT ASS! (#Y#)
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01-02-2011
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#2
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Banned
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Boulder, CO
Drives: Conquest
Posts: 5,049
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
I like it. You keep your hero:
You are retarded.
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01-02-2011
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#3
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Admin
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sportsman's Paradise, LA.
Posts: 5,382
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by FattyBoomBatty
I like it. You keep your hero:
You are retarded.
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That's right, keep blaming Bush and name calling. That's all a Lefty can do isn't it???
__________________
"You don't have a clue. You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
When she get's bitchy, SPANK THAT ASS! (#Y#)
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01-02-2011
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#4
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Banned
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Boulder, CO
Drives: Conquest
Posts: 5,049
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Keep posting retarded backward bullshit and keep your eyes closed, you little bitch.
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01-02-2011
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#5
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Admin
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sportsman's Paradise, LA.
Posts: 5,382
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by FattyBoomBatty
Keep posting retarded backward bullshit and keep your eyes closed, you little bitch.
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Say bye bye
__________________
"You don't have a clue. You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
When she get's bitchy, SPANK THAT ASS! (#Y#)
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01-02-2011
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#6
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Coon Rapids, MN
Drives: 96 Talon Tsi AWD Auto
Posts: 318
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ViciousGSX
Say bye bye
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HA 
__________________
"Call amberlamps"
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01-02-2011
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#7
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
I hope Fatty is banned for good. Im sick of his shit attitude toward fellow "friends" and members. Wtf is his problem? wow...
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01-02-2011
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#8
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hutch
Drives: Evo VIII and 96' Buick Park Ave
Posts: 2,595
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
When anyone posts something that goes against Fatty's communistic mindset he just defers to personal attacks.
Last edited by 311evo; 01-03-2011 at 03:35 AM..
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01-02-2011
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#9
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aka Goodbye
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Time for fatty to be sucking on one.
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie
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01-02-2011
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#10
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R U DTF bro?
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oak Point, TX
Drives: C8 Stingray Z51
Posts: 20,620
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Sounds like 'Style wants to divorce Fatty.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murlo26
I agree with Kracka.
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01-03-2011
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#11
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Transmission destroyer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cambridge
Drives: G37, 91 TSi
Posts: 7,150
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by A//// Guy
I hope Fatty is banned for good. Im sick of his shit attitude toward fellow "friends" and members. Wtf is his problem? wow...
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x2. It's gotten beyond old.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by scheides
I swing from the nuts of cold hard data. Anything less is a guess.
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01-03-2011
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Lino Lakes
Drives: 17 Honda Accord
Posts: 4,041
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
I approve of this message and am totally confused what all the hate is about but it sounds like a ban was needed.
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01-03-2011
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#13
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Tournaments Won: 3
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
I think we should start by calling this thread and the Politics forum on the site, Conservative crazy talk.
But also with the above seperation, you guys have to keep the Incest Ridden south, as well as anyone with an IQ under 80 (which should be easy for Conservatives).
You guys can start off your exploration by taking Texas, Alabama, Arizona, and a couple other states in the Bible Belt.
Now please, grab your closemindedness, homophobia, racist, baggage and GTFO of OUR country. and take your bitching along with you.
Also, not like this needs to be said, but all the tea baggers can go too, they are just douche bags, and we dont need them.
Enjoy the real New Mexico, cant say we will miss you.
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
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01-03-2011
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#14
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Tournaments Won: 3
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
p.s. i saw two suburu wagons with anti liberal stickers on them, so the suburu looks like its going to you.
p.p.s, One day im going to snap and you will see on the news, "Local man breaks windows out of cars with anti liberal stickers, still on the loose"
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
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01-03-2011
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#15
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R U DTF bro?
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oak Point, TX
Drives: C8 Stingray Z51
Posts: 20,620
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
More typical hate from the liberals...nothing new here. I'm not sure what country Tom is living in, but the country as a whole spoke during the 2010 elections.
Enough with the stupid stereotypes too, you know as well as anyone else that they aren't true. If they were, I don't think you'd honestly be friends with us.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murlo26
I agree with Kracka.
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01-03-2011
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#16
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Shit Rocket Pilot
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Shoreview, MN
Drives: 2003 Evolution VIII
Posts: 7,752
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
Kracka, what did I tell you about Tom? Haha, I wouldn't have expected anything less.
__________________
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -Mario Andretti
03 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tachyon
Every minute you spend in your Evo, not in boost, is a minute of your life you'll never get back.
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01-03-2011
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#17
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aka Goodbye
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
I say we should ban all flaming liberals for giving me a headache.
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie
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01-03-2011
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#18
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hutch
Drives: Evo VIII and 96' Buick Park Ave
Posts: 2,595
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Re: Time for a Divorce?
lol.
Facts vs False Stereotype attacks.
Basically every argument with a liberal.
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