Family members that pass away

INTRIGUED · 04-05-2009

My grandpa passed away this morning. Its amazing how with certain people that pass it hits in such a different way. I was very close with my grand parents, more so then really anyone in my entire family. Growing up it was just me and my mom and we lived there when I was real little. Eventually my mom got married and we moved to our house that they are still in but on the weekends my mom worked I spent the weekend at my grand parents house. From when I was about 4 until 10 or 11 or so I spent every summer there and grew to have friends in that area and obviously and home. My grand parents bought me my 1st well actually second car because my first one was a POS to say the least. I went for a visit there and without asking they cut me a $3,000 check and said go get a safe and reliable car. I tried to pay them each payday and they said just keep it you need it more then we do. There are so many other stories I could tell about how they were so great to me and they huge impact they have had in my life but none will really do it justice.

My grandma passed away back in 2003 and to be honest that was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. My grandma and I were very close. Years ago I worked for cell one and they gave us a hour long lunch break. So everyday I worked I drove to my grand parents house and every single day she would have a grilled cheese sandwich, chocolate milk and some cookies sitting there waiting for me. When I moved out to lakeside with a bunch of friends and I'd go visit a few times a week every time I went there there would be 3-4 paper bags full of food and snacks. The love from a grandma and grandpa is never ending and with good or bad times they are always there for you.

Now with both of them gone the empty void is incredible. Not on a dependent side but that regular always knowing they are there and always will be feeling. Sucks so bad I can't even describe it.

One thing the doctor said just yesterday as we were getting to the point of hospice care and discussing where to go next. The way he put it couldn't be more right. It's all about the quality of life and time we spend with him, not the quantity of time. He was to the point of not eating, sleeping all the time, constant pain, fighting for each breath. That is no way to live.

I miss them both so much, but towards the end of both of their deaths it hurt that much more to see them like that and in my mind knowing they are at peace and are together now makes me feel more at ease.

Thanks for the space to let me vent, the shock hasn't really hit me with full force yet but I almost hope it doesn't. Remembering all the great moments turns me into a big mess. For you all with grandparents still alive, take advantage of every moment.

**goodhart** · 04-05-2009

Sorry so much for your loss, losing a family member is never easy and there really isn't any certain process to greiving, it's really all dependant on the individual. My grandpa is 90 now and I can't even bring myself to think of the day our family and I will be without him.

**4seasons69** · 04-05-2009

sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. it will get easier it just takes time. my dad and both my grandmas passed away last fall within a month. and having to watch them in hospice care dying in so much pain was the worst thing I've ever had to do. I felt so bad cause I didn't go to visit as much as I should of but I just couldn't take seeing them like that

4g63tcrazy · 04-05-2009

Keep your head up man. I just lost my grandpa not too long ago.. It will get better in time. I'm sorry for you're loss.

jhaan_dude · 04-05-2009

im really sorry to hear about your loss. stand tough and remember him always!

Kevin 1G Drummer · 04-05-2009

Wow, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I only have one grandparent left, the other 3 all died while I was young. I dread the day that she's no longer with us. Keep your head up, and with time it will get easier. Know that they're still there for you, just in a different way now.

INTRIGUED · 04-06-2009

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

There is always that certain spirit and glow that your grand parents bring to the table. In our family before my grandma passed she was the one keeping our family together for holidays and such. When she passed it tapered off a lot. Now that my grandpa is gone I see things only getting worse.

1slowdsm · 04-06-2009

Sorry to hear about your loss. They seemed to have lived a long and happy life. It wont be easy to get over, but it will pass and everytime you think about them you'll feel a bit better knowing how much they helped you out.

My first grandma passed away a few years ago but when she was alive, she loved every one of us equally and was just the nicest person I've known in my life. When we had family gatherings and she was there, it would make getting along so much easier; felt like she had an aura to make people happier. Even when she died I could see a smile on her face which made it easier knowing she wont be around anymore, only in spirit.

**Kracka** · 04-07-2009

Sorry to read this Cory

Stay strong and know they're watching over you in spirit. I've only lost one grandparent so far (grandma) but I've carried around a little card from her funeral in my wallet ever since (January 7, 2000).

INTRIGUED · 04-08-2009

Thanks man, I went to the funeral planning monday and wow is that stuff expensive. If they didn't have some of it pre paid it would of been over 10 grand. Total was like $8,700 that is just incredible.