telemarketers

[ABV]

I get these calls about once a week at work. "Hello sir would like to renew your free subscription to..." It's always a different magazine name, but they're all pretty much the same. Industry magazines with about 90% advertising and 10% actual articles (which are probably solicited by the company making the product in the article). So they're basically about 99% advertising. Some of them are good, like Automotive Engineering, but the majority of them are of no use to me.

The funny part is that I have only subscribed to a couple magazines over the past 5-6 years, and whenever I get a call, they always ask me if I want to "renew" my subscription.

Anyway, I need some help from you guys. My standard response is "No thanks, I'm not interested". Repeat that about 10 times, and they usually get the message. Keep in mind that I work in a cubicle farm, so I can't go off the hook screaming and yelling over the phone. I need to write down a list of responses to put by the phone. Kind of like the list that they have, when I give a reason I don't want thier freakin' magazine.

Here's some of the questions, how would you respond? P.S. This isn't a joke, I'm actually going to make a list and put it by the phone. :D

1. Hello sir, would you like to renew your free subscription to *** magazine?

2. All I need is to update your information, and we can get this out to you.

3. Can I ask you what industry you work in?

4. Let me tell you why this magazine is perfect for you.

5. Is there anyone else at your company that you think would be interested?

There's alot more that I will think of later (I need to get back to work), but how would you respond to these?

[At-Least-It's-An-Evo]

Just tell them to put you on the DoNotCall List. If they still call you after that, they can be fined $10k if it's the same company.

[ABV]

Yeah, but that's not as fun. :) And actually once, I did ask to be taken off the list, and she hung up on me! :eek: I don't know if she actually took me off the list or not though.

[Jana]

I've gotten calls like that here at work as well, and I just tell them I'm not in a position to make that kind of decision and hang up on them. :)

[Alpine TSi]

I start speaking spanish to them(the little that I know), and then after them asking a few questions I just start getting loud and saying Que?(which means what). Except for once they have always hung up, the one time the lady transfered me to a spanish speaking rep. Then I just started making up gibberish.

[ABV]

I start speaking spanish to them(the little that I know), and then after them asking a few questions I just start getting loud and saying Que?(which means what). Except for once they have always hung up, the one time the lady transfered me to a spanish speaking rep. Then I just started making up gibberish.
LOL, that's a good one. I'm definitely going to try that.

[AJ]

Since you can't do my favorite thing of yelling and getting them to hang up or talk about getting high and driving a Blazer to them to hang out (inside joke) then to the next 2 best things.

1. Repeat everything they say in a soft polite voice. If they ask what you are doing just keep repeating.

2. Ask them to hold and just let them iot and stir. When you get back on the line a min or 5 later tell them you just have to runt o your car to get your checkbook ort something and see if they can hold again. If they say yes let them sit for another 10 min if possible. Only hang up when you can't keep them on the phone anymore. 99% of the time these people are paid by # calls per hour. You will fuck with their money and they won't fuck with you much more.

[AJ]

Or transfer them to me ;)

[TalonFiero]

I usually just hang up as soon as I know its telemarketing. I usually do not get another call for a while. If someone is trying to sell me stuff at work I use Jana's line and hang up on them.

If I am bored or want to have some fun, I like the Sienfeld approach. Sound interested as soon as they call and politely interrupt them and say "You know, I really would like to pursue this at another time. Could you give me your home phone number so that I can call you later when you are off the clock? What? You don't want me calling you at home? Well thats just unbelievable! So on and so forth....."

A friend of mine trys to get them to talk to him as long as possible about anything and makes them hang up. He loves punishment I guess.

Jim

[JET]

When they call, I think you should tell them that you are a telemarketer. You will only subscribe to their magazine, if they subscribe to yours, "gay men in the business place". Start asking for their name and address, etc. It should totally throw them off guard!