Official Joke Thread!

[AJ]

Some Blonde jokes for non-blondes to enjoy!!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A: Thanks Guys.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's *** ?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.