10-19-2003
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#1
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I was very happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses.
She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires
for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
__________________
The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you're finished.
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10-19-2003
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#2
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Asshat King
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Decorah / Ames, Iowa
Posts: 3,683
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LOL, definitely a good moral to follow :blink:
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DSMSTYLE MAFIA - Holdin' Down the Cornfields of IA
'92 Laser RS AWD & '01 Grand Prix GTP
Proud to be a Cyclone
Check it out: Racers Against Street Racing
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10-19-2003
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#3
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Mazda Bitch
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: MN
Posts: 3,208
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That was some funny shit 
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10-19-2003
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#4
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Is funding Exxon.
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ham Lake
Drives: like a bat outta hell!
Posts: 7,983
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HAHA!!! I knew there was a reason I keep them there! That little door in the arm rest works great for that!
__________________
Is burning corn and stayin' warm!
My motorcycle is stock and reliable, my Talon is neither!
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10-19-2003
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#6
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Hopkins
Posts: 564
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OMG i almost shit myself that was so funny.......
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10-20-2003
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#7
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Red Wing, MN
Drives: Too Many
Posts: 3,184
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I would have been fucked. That actually scared me to read that. I probably would have just grabbed the nearest garbage bag or bread bag and went to town. Fuck going to the car... :bj:
CRAIG
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10-20-2003
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: White Bear Lake
Posts: 148
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Haha, that's great! 
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10-20-2003
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#9
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Business as usual
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Isanti, MN
Drives: Dodge Viper and Honda Insight
Posts: 2,206
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LOL
__________________
97 Viper GTS
03 Mercedes CLK500 rollin on dubs...
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10-20-2003
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#10
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Captain J-Sack
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 594
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tell her i say hi :P
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10-20-2003
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#11
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Farmington
Posts: 626
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Funny stuff.
__________________
Evil=Anything that can bleed for seven days and not die. Description: Women.
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10-28-2003
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#12
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Tournaments Won: 3
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
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LMFAO!!! thats great, i would have said fuck the condoms...
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
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10-28-2003
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#13
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Hopkins
Posts: 564
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Quote:
Originally posted by CUSTOMDSM@Oct 20 2003, 02:07 AM
I would have been fucked. That actually scared me to read that. I probably would have just grabbed the nearest garbage bag or bread bag and went to town. Fuck going to the car... :bj:
CRAIG
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HAHA a bread bag thats great...
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10-28-2003
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#14
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Asshat King
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Decorah / Ames, Iowa
Posts: 3,683
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Quote:
Originally posted by CUSTOMDSM@Oct 20 2003, 02:07 AM
I would have been fucked. That actually scared me to read that. I probably would have just grabbed the nearest garbage bag or bread bag and went to town. Fuck going to the car... :bj:
CRAIG
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LOL, I know a guy back home that made very good use of a Wal-Mart bag a couple of years ago..... 
__________________
DSMSTYLE MAFIA - Holdin' Down the Cornfields of IA
'92 Laser RS AWD & '01 Grand Prix GTP
Proud to be a Cyclone
Check it out: Racers Against Street Racing
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10-28-2003
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#15
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Farmington
Posts: 626
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That's terrible.
__________________
Evil=Anything that can bleed for seven days and not die. Description: Women.
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10-28-2003
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#16
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aka Goodbye
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Uhhh, take it from me, always wear a condom. $300K+ over 18 years is a high price to pay for a little tail. Besides that, Mitsu was kind enough to provide a hidden condom storage place under the center console lid.
Some smart-ass put one in mine at one of the car events. Like an old married guy paying child support for one and a bun in the oven with wifey needs a condom. 
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie
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10-29-2003
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#17
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Slower than a rusty Honda
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if it comes down to a wal mart bag, you either dont have sex or you stick it in a mud hole
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I LIKE TURTLES
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10-29-2003
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#18
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Area code 166 represent
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Crystal, MN
Posts: 10,329
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If you resort to a walk mart bag, blow it up forst and check for leaks. You could just do what I do. Not get any! ;-)
__________________
'16 Focus ST - Daily Duty
'93 mr2 - Track car in progress
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10-30-2003
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#19
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Boost Spike
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Cottage Grove
Drives: 93 talon Automagickinda....
Posts: 1,116
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hahahaha that was some funny stuff!!!! 
__________________
91 gsx: 734awhp 593ft lbs, best et 10.4@141, @35psi 1.6 60' 2010
93 Talon: 2011 season: Auto, 8.50 cage, For sale!!! $7500
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