10-26-2006
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#1
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Resident Redneck
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 415
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How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Here's my contribution to the site.
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
__________________
'07 Z06 Black/Black 2LZ
Headers, CAI, Tuning, 160 T-stat & 125hp dry N2O kit.
10.48 @ 136.86 w/1.65 60'
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10-26-2006
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#2
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
LMFAO!!!! That is hilarious! Woo woo hahaha
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10-26-2006
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#3
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Area code 166 represent
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Crystal, MN
Posts: 10,329
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Spot on!
__________________
'16 Focus ST - Daily Duty
'93 mr2 - Track car in progress
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10-26-2006
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#4
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Mazda-ing
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Your Mom's House
Drives: 2013 Mazdaspeed3
Posts: 2,126
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Haha I love it!
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10-26-2006
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#5
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Tournaments Won: 3
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
SO True.
They forgot to add, "Tuck your penis between legs to see what you would look like as a woman" or am i the only one that does that. LOL
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
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10-26-2006
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#6
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Reynolds number user
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: grove/tempe
Posts: 3,553
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
oldest repost known to man.
...but its still funny 
__________________
07 Ducati Monster S4R
00 honda elite 50 (64 mph braH!)
05 malaguti F15
04 E55 AMG
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10-26-2006
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#7
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Resident Redneck
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 415
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tauni
Haha I love it!
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WOO-WOO!
__________________
'07 Z06 Black/Black 2LZ
Headers, CAI, Tuning, 160 T-stat & 125hp dry N2O kit.
10.48 @ 136.86 w/1.65 60'
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10-26-2006
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#8
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Mazda-ing
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Your Mom's House
Drives: 2013 Mazdaspeed3
Posts: 2,126
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outlaw1
WOO-WOO!
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 *covers up nakedness and walks away* |
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10-26-2006
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#9
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It's deluxe son... deluxe
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Texan...
Drives: Your mom
Posts: 1,234
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Pretty good, I don't usually turn the fan on though.... too much effort
__________________
2010 Evo X GSR
1997 Subaru GC8 STi
sleepydsm: "Shit breaks, $2500 trannys are disposable. If that upsets your stomach, get out now."
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10-26-2006
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#10
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flips McGee
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
woohoo! |
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10-26-2006
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#11
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Wanker
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: St Paul, MN
Drives: 95 M3
Posts: 1,027
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Repost or not, this one gets a gold star!
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10-26-2006
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#12
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Resident Redneck
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 415
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Mr. Bean! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
__________________
'07 Z06 Black/Black 2LZ
Headers, CAI, Tuning, 160 T-stat & 125hp dry N2O kit.
10.48 @ 136.86 w/1.65 60'
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10-26-2006
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#13
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Mazda-ing
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Your Mom's House
Drives: 2013 Mazdaspeed3
Posts: 2,126
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
That scares me.
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10-26-2006
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#14
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3.1L v6 power...
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
And that right there is funny....
__________________
Josh LaCroix
At LSE Performance: 92 Talon TSi AWD
Driving a: 93 Ford Festiva L 5spd
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10-26-2006
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#15
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aka Goodbye
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Quote:
Originally Posted by tpunx99GSX
SO True.
They forgot to add, "Tuck your penis between legs to see what you would look like as a woman" or am i the only one that does that. LOL
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Uhh, no. Nobody else does that.
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie
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10-26-2006
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#16
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Who's this guy?
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Saint Cloud
Drives: 91 Dodge Stealth RT/TT
Posts: 743
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
The one and only...
Didn't they forget to put the part in there where you ask your wife to come in after you farted?
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10-26-2006
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#17
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The RTFVfaq Guy
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Winona MN
Posts: 479
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Not only does your fart sound louder in the shower but for some reason the potency increases 3 fold. 
__________________
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
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10-26-2006
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#18
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FargO
Drives: the girls crazy
Posts: 3,012
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
I like the "Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area."
Thats so true, who cares if anything eles is clean!
__________________
pics or gtfo
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10-26-2006
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#19
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Wanker
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: St Paul, MN
Drives: 95 M3
Posts: 1,027
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jed
Not only does your fart sound louder in the shower but for some reason the potency increases 3 fold. |
It's the moisture in the air. Ever notice how bath farts don't smell nearly as bad? |
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10-26-2006
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#20
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Now 1 second.....slower!
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: St. Paul, MN
Drives: 1993 Talon AWD
Posts: 1,359
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Re: How To Shower Like A Woman/Man
Hahaha. That was funny.
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