[ABV]

LMFAO!!!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at AJ's Christmas party. It was Jana who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 16 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pineapple.

I thought it was funny when I put Jim's shoes on my head and danced the chicken on the recliner while singing `cold hard b***'. I didn't mean to break AJ's razor and don't know why AJ would sue me for jaywalking.

I don't remember calling Chris's wife a slippery cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Amy's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my pichup truck through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a smokin kangaroo and have me arrested for speeding!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all cold and hot. And I'm really not to blame for any of this roundish stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and really yours,
Mark (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 256 bucks!