Yup, maybe broken valve. Sucky
Brandon, I washed my 1G once (under the hood) with a bunch of water, some directly on the CAS. The car would NOT start afterwards, I killed the CAS. No way this would cause this, but related info....is your filter still down by the wheel? There's almost no way you'd hydrolock the motor with it way down there, hanging downwards especially. The water would just drain out, unless the filter got absolutely soaked and then you sucked in some water as you started the car. Still fairly unlikely considering how your filter/mas is situated.
LOL @ the spark plug pic and comment, you are funny man! Keep your head up through this, I know it sucks. I have a head that needs a rebuild that you can have for cheap cheap, and a ton of parts to go with it.
Post more pics when you get the head off, but maybe do the TDC height check on Cyl 1 vs 4 before ya yank it off just for giggles.
I dunno, it almost has to be hydrolock, I don't know what else it'd be....