[Talian]

Men Are Just Happier People because:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park or no shirt most places.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can play with toys all your life.
You never have to drive to another gas station it use the restroom because this one is just too gross.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat (very few exceptions).
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap (clothing malfunction) problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Same work, more pay.

***Never menstruate -ages may very- ages 13 to 54 =41yrs x 12mo.= 492mo. lasting 4-11 days,
Products/ pain killers per mo. (cost will increase) 7+5+12=$24 per mo. x 492mo.= $11,808.00
($288yr *not tax deductible* & does not include chocolate)

***Never get pregnant -(9mo, crazy hormones, morning sick, 25lbs or more of baby, everything swollen,
walk like a duck, 5hrs to 72hrs+ labor w/possibility of c-section, stretch marks for life)
-then spend the rest of your life hoping the kids will call.

-Call your mom (mom's day 5/14)