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Re: Official Joke Thread!
"Drive-Through Banking"
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note
that this Bank is installing new Drive-through
teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested
to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful
research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have
been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
"Male Drive-Through Banking Procedure"
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
"Female Drive-Through Banking Procedure"
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount
to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to
passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to
machine due to its excessive distance from
the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with
your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and
place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder,
and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting
behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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