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EclipseGST 10-02-2005 09:27 PM

No Sex Tonight~
 
Its pretty good, I'll have to try this.


Quote:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Taken from:
http://austin.craigslist.org/about/b.../60286784.html

rk4g63 10-02-2005 09:40 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Dude that is one of the best ones I've heard all week.

AJ 10-02-2005 09:41 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
I saw the title and I was just going to say I'm in the same boat, but i'm not reading all that. Gotta find my favorite sock...

A//// Guy 10-02-2005 10:13 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Yea Ive heard that one before but it is pretty great!! haha

JET 10-02-2005 10:17 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Yep, oldie but a goodie!

unreal808 10-02-2005 10:53 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
I can’t relate. That dud is a loser, I never have a problem getting laid. All I have to do is give her the look, and say “it go time” and its on……….Than I wake up,.. and my pants or wet.

niterydr 10-03-2005 10:12 AM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
oldie, but a good one!

Tauni 10-03-2005 12:14 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Haha!! Thats Funny!

Outlaw1 10-03-2005 12:20 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Good laugh.

Kracka 10-03-2005 12:23 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Haha, that was great! I had never seen that one before :)

LaunchHard 10-03-2005 12:56 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
i'm gonna have to try that sometime

1ViciousGSX 10-03-2005 01:49 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Older than Allan's box of condoms :D

IndiEP 10-03-2005 08:11 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Thats awsome, never seen that before.

Jana 10-03-2005 08:54 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DSMStyle
I saw the title and I was just going to say I'm in the same boat, but i'm not reading all that. Gotta find my favorite sock...

Don't even get me started....

I've heard that one before, but it's still hilarious!! :D

FattyBoomBatty 10-03-2005 09:26 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
funny.

1slowdsm 10-03-2005 11:25 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Old but still funny everytime I read it....:D

TurboDomestics 10-03-2005 11:49 PM

Re: No Sex Tonight~
 
Thats awesome!

Ive never heard it before


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