What would you do in this situation
 

Ok so here we go. I've been with my girl for 2 years now. I'm 18 and she's 17 and a half. We're in love and hope to get married soon. We spend every wakign moment together. He parents over 60 days ago moved her to Florida and put a restraining order on me because they felt she was too emotionally attached. It was a 105 day restraining order and I have 38 days left. But I recently got arrested for supposibly having contact and have a court date in 2 months. So here I am, I haven't seen her or talked to her in 67 days, but still lvoe her and hope it works out in 38 more. But I'm not sure what to do. What would you guys do if you were in my situation?

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Damn thats one tough situation.. I would say wait it out till you can have legal contact and then see how things go from there. You are really young and it may seem like love but I would slow things waaay down. Been there done that and learned alot along the way. Im guessing this is both of your first serious relationships? People do change alot with time, and late teens and early 20s are the most critical. My opinion is to slow things down, if you both feel that strongly about each other then it will work out even if you cant see/talk to each other.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Forget about it. You're too young to be deciding who you're going to marry. Want me to tell you what happened of all the people I know who got married shortly after high school? No, you don't.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

How do you know she still feels that way about you if you haven't talked to her for ever? I would wait it out and try to settle things with her parents after your time is up. You dont want the girls parents to hate you. I gotta laugh a little bit though, I've never seen a topic like this come up on any car forum haha. Good luck

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

I know she does, cause She's had her freinds send me messages through myspace and AIM. I jsut received another one today.

"Hey babe, Im coming home in 2 weeks i am so sorry for everything I am NOT going to bleave you and i am NOT moving on. I love you to death and my love has never been so strong for you before. I am still all yours. We will see each other soon. Dont believe the 2 years shit Its not true i hvent been able to call you because my aunt wont let me anmoyre Will i see you on the 21st? Willy ou stay with me? Dont leave me beacause i dont plan on leaing you. EVER! I midd you and love you to death my love. Ill be home soon I have the tickets to prove it. No matter how long we have to wait for each other i will wait for you I will remain loyal and commited. I hope you will stay wiht me. My biggest fear and worry is you leaving. I want to be with you forever Dont give up babe Stay Strong I havent gone out with friends and dont plan to so dont worry what im doing I am just worried about you. I feel like you funna dump me soon and say fuck this shit and go find someone else I am begging you to stay strong and stay with me baby Dont leave me i will be 18 in no time just like yesterday we were plauying football and i cheerleading. lol lets stick through this together lets prove my parents we were meant for each please forgive me for this I have never hated myself so much before inm so sorry. Love you and miss you baby.
We will over come this battle...together! Love Sophia"

The thing is her parents loved me, then this all of a sudden happened. I've been in a semi serious relationship before, and we're not rushing into any marriage idea, I want to wait until im financially steady and shit first. I'm sorry for bringing it to the car forums, im just really struggling and curious what other people what have done in my situation.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Absolutely step back and wait. Even if everything is and will stay exactly as you said between the both of you you need to wait. It would be foolish to push the restraining order. After it expires I'd still keep things limited. If you both still feel the same way when she turns 18 then you can work something out. Just use your head at least as much as your heart.

Oh yeah, don't skip out on the education thing either. Seriously, too many people skip out on higher ed, because they have convoluded notions of ever-lasting love. If it's really that strong it will last a lifetime so there is no need to rush anything.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

No, way am I skippin gmy education. I already have taken 2 years of pre college automotive and have been accepted to one of the top 5 tech schools for automotive and high engine performance.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

The best advice i can give you is wait until you are at least 23.
The reasons.
A) A wedding night is no night to be sober.
B) Girls have two major changes when they are young. First is when they become a woman and their body changes and starts to bleed because they are evil. And the second is when they turn 21, Some girls get hit hard and others not so much (much like a period). Give them two years to get the partying out of their system and if you are still together, fuck it marry the girl.

What caused the bad blood between the girls parents and you?
I have never had a problem with any girls parents. Except one, but i kinda deserved that, Little girls are liars (about their ages). SPEAKING of which, are you sure i mean SURE she is actually 17? just remember 16 will get you 20

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Haha. Actually, as much as I hate to admit it, I was kinda in a similar place you are. Me and my ex broke up and things were really hard for both of us. Long story short, life was tough for both of us, we decided to take a break and not talk for a while and her dad stricktly inforced this. I just had to take it and like it and stick it out. She has now changed in a few ways: she's kinda bitchy and shes got huge boobs. Moral of the story, WAIT it out and don't rush anything. Your 18 how do you know what "real love" is?

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Yes, I am positive that she's 17. She does not party, drink or do drugs, and is strongly against them so i think i won't have to worry about that. I'm not sure about the bad blood honestly. Her parents loved me a week before, I had taken care of there house while her father was in Iraq, and continued to do so. The night before her family had taken us out to dinner and a movie and her father said how much he appreicated his daughter have a giuy like me. Then the mother decided she was getting to emotionally attached and did this. Even in the court room she had nothing but good things to say about me.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Couple things to point out here, and I'll be quick about it.

1. You are both way too young, there is already a mix of hatefull parents, and there is already a run in with the law. Wake up, and take the next few years to live a little (with or without her).

2. You're asking a car site where we only know you through 10 posts (your current count as of my post). Seriously, if you have to come here and get advice like this you have no clue. Sorry, but it's true.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

I did not come here for the advice, not did I ask for advice. I was jsut curious what others would do if they were in a situation like this. I already know what path I'm takign reguardless of what anyone here says.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

You're title asked for advice, and if you don't understand that concept, you have a whole new problem to deal with. And if you already know what you are doing, why ask?

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

No my title does not say I need advice. My title says would would you DO in this situation NOT I need an opinion what to do, your reading it the wrong way and thats fine.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

I was in a similar situation at close to your age too. I am guessing her parents found out you were having sex? That is what happened to me. Don't push things, sit back and take it slow. If she really is the one for you, then your love will last forever and you have plenty of time.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

OK! So my friend and I convened in my small dorm room (dog like kennel of a room) and this is what we came up with:

It is foolish to break a restraining order especially when you are 18 and it will be on your record forever. Don’t ever fuck with the law, unless you are street racing hehe. You will do her no good if you are in jail (I don’t really know what happens if you violate an order, but any ways) and it will just give her parents another excuse for her not to be with you. Respect her parents wishes, even though they seem a little messed up right now, don’t be ageist.

Don’t rush into marriage. I’m 18 and am in a committed relationship, but its foolish to get married so young. I see some disillusionment in you because you want to get married so young. If you are truly in love timing does not matter. Wait until you are independent, have move out and live by yourself for a few year and have finished school and have a secured job. You need to experience adulthood by yourself before sharing your life with others. This is only to protect you from simply a burn out form a lack of coping skills. Marriage requires a level of maturity that will only come with time, wisdom, patience and evaluation of oneself.

Another thing is no matter how much you don’t want it to; your relationship is going to change from this situation. Are you still dealing with infatuation? You need to mature your relationship to a committed relationship, consummate love, realistic ambitions and a pragmatic relationship. Her parents are judging your relationship as naive behavior. This is not intended to be demonstrative towards you, but it is simply the stage you are in.

Take the last 38 days to reflective upon yourself and your girlfriend and where your love comes from; why you love her. It is wise to understand superficiality in your relationship and understand that this is only because of your age.

I am not saying that you can not continue your relationship with her, I hope for the best for both of you as individuals. I am offering you the advice of my friend and I so you can acquire another point of view from two fucking amazing, colligate young woman (one of whom drives a freakin’ hot car hehe).

But really think about it…


(Sorry for the weird words but this is from psychology and nursing major point of view…)

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Pretty sure Jet hit it on the head, she probably told her parents you were "that" serious and they didnt so much like that.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

Bingo.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

The path you take should be waiting it out alittle longer. I agree waiting until she is in her mid twentys. I am not saying you should not talk to her. Nor ignore her after she turns 18. I am all for staying together. But what I am saying is don't run off and get marryed at a short age. Oh and make sure you have a good job before you tie the knot. But I think you already thinking of that. Good luck with it all. And don't screw it up.

Re: What would you do in this situation
 

I've been in a similar situation. Perhaps some of you (hughes) remember Kristina, my ex? Her rents hated me, for no apparent reason. After a few months, I said fuck it. You really aren't worth the trouble, headaches, or pain. I can say I think i've moved on to a better place in life now, and am happy. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Who knows, perhaps you'll land a hot chick with rich rents, and she's into cars too!

-A. Swift