MitsuStyle - Someone's take on the 4G

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Someone's take on the 4G

I took this off of the S2kI board, it was posted by a Wisconsin member. Whether you like S2000's or not, everyone should find this funny:

I have always understood why US auto manufacturers make cars that are focused on straight line speed, and tend to ignore handling, and other such things. After all, the american way of driving is dictated by the 1/4 mile and "races" such as NASCAR where they drive in a "curved" straight line for 3 hours.

You have cars like the SRT4, which everyone loves to hate. Though given its own respect, it serves its purpose, even if that's not what the majority of us roadster loving bastards want in a car. (unfortunately its price puts the car into the hands of often immature and inexperienced "kids") Then you have those redneck T-shirts that say "my lug nuts require more torque than your honda makes". (meanwhile, i can't find a single USDM car that requires 153lb/ft of torque on the lugs, but i digress) Ah yes, nothing greater than the epitome of ignorance in regards to the laws of physics, such as that infamous T-shirt.

Anyways, enough of my ranting, but here is my point. Mitsubishi introduces to us their most recent iteration of a car called "the eclipse". Ironically enough, it'd take an object with probably as much mass and size as this car has, to be able to block out the sun and cause an eclipse. That's right folks, I'll be here all week. This new eclipse seems to be mitsubishi's attempt into the sport compact market, using american convention. A larger displacement engine, and lots more torque. Ironically enough, this makes the car larger than anything I'd consider a "sport compact". So honestly, what was mitsubishi thinking? If they wanted this much power, why didn't they go back to the era of the turbo eclipse?

Instead we get this bloated, 3,500 pound car. Not only that, but this thing eats PREMIUM gas like a fat kid at a cupcake bar. The "official" EPA mileage rating for this 3.8 liter V6 10.5:1 compression engine is 27mpg highway, and 18mpg city. However, not a SINGLE person I know with an eclipse, nor any car magazine that has done actual extensive road testing of the car, has EVER gotten better than about 17mpg AVERAGE.

Whoa, what's that? That's right. The people who tested this car (drove it around for 3000-5000 miles) AVERAGE around 17mpg. Well gee, how the heck does that happen, one might ask. Interestingly enough, the EPA figures put the car just BARELY into the gas guzzler tax penalty. In other words, there is a $1000 penalty added to the sticker price of any eclipse sold due to it's mileage. If you use ACTUAL figures that people are getting, this penalty WOULD be about $3200. This piece of sh*t car gets WORSE mileage (on average) in the city, than most SUVs. And it gets only .6 mpg BETTER than the FORD EXCURSION!!! The only benefit I see of this, is the instantaneous weight savings you get when racing someone, as your car will actually get lighter as it burns off gallons of fuel.

So I'm on the freeway last night, and I see a car dipping through traffic in my rear view. I'm in the left lane, going 80 in a 65 as it is, and eventually this car gets through traffic and makes its way past me. I see it's a new eclipse. My guess is he's low on gas (since he stopped at the last station to fill up 30 miles ago), and he needs to find a gas station quick.

Apparently, my car catches his eye, and he slows down a bit to let me catch up. I slow down to almost 60, and he gets next to me and starts to accelerate. I roll on the throttle a bit at first, and then finally downshift to 3rd. Now I don't know what kind of planet altering gravitational forces it takes to accelerate that much weight, but whatever he had, it wasn't enough. Once I heard him downshift and go, I hammered the gas and left him easily in my wake. Another fat pig, skewered by the S2k.