AJ
12-17-2004, 03:30 PM
Written by some dude who goes by Special Ed :
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Why do girls suck? Girls have us guys thinking that we are the problem and that we will amount to nothing, yet when was the last female President? Who was the last Billionaire woman, thank you very much? Now I'm sure there are some very nice women out there, but I have to say I am tired of finding all the psycho/loser/stupid girls in the world. To remedy this problem I'm going to give some advice to all the women out there on how to end your “loserism.” By the way, this isn't really meant to be funny, you all really need some help so I'm going to be serious on this one.
Girlspoop 10 Commandments for Girls
I) Don’t over look the nice guy. He's putting up with all of your crap just so some asshole can fuck your brains out. What the hell are you thinking? If you want to be treated like shit, let me hold your fucking head in the toilet and flush it a couple of times because that's the only thing you're good for now.
II) Girls really need to stop saying that they don't want a push over guy and then rejecting guys because they are being nice on the first couple of dates. Of course this poor bastard is going to do what ever you want for the first few dates, no matter how much he hates the fucking Bridges of Madison County. But you know what? After you've been together for a while he's going to start taking you to Hooters and letting farts rip like the rest of us.
III) Find a better place to spit that shit than our stomachs. I'm tired of ruining socks.
IV) Don't bitch about us watching football. We try our best to keep the seat down so you don't fall your stupid ass in, we stand there feeling gay in Express while you shop for days, and we empty your bloody tampons out from the trash after you go home; if we want to watch a couple of sweaty guys slap each others butts and throw a friggin ball around for three hours, then let us. It could be worse. We could be watching porn.
V) Offer to pay about once every five times. We probably won't let you, and it's ok because that's not really the point anyway. We just want to know that you are willing to pay if we wanted you to. Plus, it makes our cocks feel big when we tell you to put your money away.
VI) If we buy you something "sexy," wear it whenever we want please. It doesn't matter if you look like the fattest farmer John from Hell raised Cow, we are going to think you are the best looking thing ever because we bought it for you and that's what we want to see you in.
VII) Don't sweat the small stuff. We are guys and we fuck up. If we fuck your sister, get pissed. If we piss on the seat, wipe it off. Guys barely ever bring up the shit you do to us because we don't really care. We think you are beautiful regardless of the situation and we are far more interested in making love than war.
IIX) Don't try to change us. Too many girls try to make guys stop drinking, stop talking to certain friends, or whatever. These things may make us happy; they aren't a replacement for you. They are an addition.
IX) If we don't care what we look like, then it's a good thing. It means we aren't trying to impress anyone else and that we feel safe being with you.
X) Don't be a weenie biter, that shit hurts.
---
Why do girls suck? Girls have us guys thinking that we are the problem and that we will amount to nothing, yet when was the last female President? Who was the last Billionaire woman, thank you very much? Now I'm sure there are some very nice women out there, but I have to say I am tired of finding all the psycho/loser/stupid girls in the world. To remedy this problem I'm going to give some advice to all the women out there on how to end your “loserism.” By the way, this isn't really meant to be funny, you all really need some help so I'm going to be serious on this one.
Girlspoop 10 Commandments for Girls
I) Don’t over look the nice guy. He's putting up with all of your crap just so some asshole can fuck your brains out. What the hell are you thinking? If you want to be treated like shit, let me hold your fucking head in the toilet and flush it a couple of times because that's the only thing you're good for now.
II) Girls really need to stop saying that they don't want a push over guy and then rejecting guys because they are being nice on the first couple of dates. Of course this poor bastard is going to do what ever you want for the first few dates, no matter how much he hates the fucking Bridges of Madison County. But you know what? After you've been together for a while he's going to start taking you to Hooters and letting farts rip like the rest of us.
III) Find a better place to spit that shit than our stomachs. I'm tired of ruining socks.
IV) Don't bitch about us watching football. We try our best to keep the seat down so you don't fall your stupid ass in, we stand there feeling gay in Express while you shop for days, and we empty your bloody tampons out from the trash after you go home; if we want to watch a couple of sweaty guys slap each others butts and throw a friggin ball around for three hours, then let us. It could be worse. We could be watching porn.
V) Offer to pay about once every five times. We probably won't let you, and it's ok because that's not really the point anyway. We just want to know that you are willing to pay if we wanted you to. Plus, it makes our cocks feel big when we tell you to put your money away.
VI) If we buy you something "sexy," wear it whenever we want please. It doesn't matter if you look like the fattest farmer John from Hell raised Cow, we are going to think you are the best looking thing ever because we bought it for you and that's what we want to see you in.
VII) Don't sweat the small stuff. We are guys and we fuck up. If we fuck your sister, get pissed. If we piss on the seat, wipe it off. Guys barely ever bring up the shit you do to us because we don't really care. We think you are beautiful regardless of the situation and we are far more interested in making love than war.
IIX) Don't try to change us. Too many girls try to make guys stop drinking, stop talking to certain friends, or whatever. These things may make us happy; they aren't a replacement for you. They are an addition.
IX) If we don't care what we look like, then it's a good thing. It means we aren't trying to impress anyone else and that we feel safe being with you.
X) Don't be a weenie biter, that shit hurts.